The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
