just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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