The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
