You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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