Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
