Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
