His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
