I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
