The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
