I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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