hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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