I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need help removing her.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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