No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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