Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
