Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
