Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
