the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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