you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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