lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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