i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
