I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize