Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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