I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
