honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I just put wine in my tea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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