Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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