just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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