how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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