and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize