..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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