Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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