You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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