My hand turned me down
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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