Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Sponge bath it is.

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  (319): Sponge bath it is. http://tfl.nu/r4q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1009) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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  (509): Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN. http://tfl.nu/p4en
  Replies (19) Good night (4169) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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  (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. http://tfl.nu/rnks
  Replies (20) Good night (595) Bad night (2675)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (1069) Bad night (2206)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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  (845): i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore http://tfl.nu/w95h
  Replies (20) Good night (5496) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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  (440): Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks http://tfl.nu/nonu
  Replies (21) Good night (7167) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.

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  (847): At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know. http://tfl.nu/0yrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2205) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1462) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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  (775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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  (215): I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that. http://tfl.nu/79sp
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.

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  (+44): She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn. http://tfl.nu/qwtm
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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  (+91): I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' ! http://tfl.nu/au1d
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.

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  (801): I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future. http://tfl.nu/z13j
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.

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  (423): A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice. http://tfl.nu/al3p
  Replies (0) Good night (854) Bad night (233)

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