Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?