I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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