Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
