maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
