Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
