I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
