I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you made out with another girl for some wings
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
