I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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