ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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