ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
