Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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