We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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