If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
