This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
