this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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