I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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