i just had sex bonerless
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
