He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
