her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
