And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
