You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
