Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
