What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
