dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
