i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
