i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
