I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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