We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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