why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
