I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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